Lil' Wayne Lyric or Mark Twain Quote?
agvnotes: A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. Watch me give your hoe some blow, watch her put it in her nose, now watch her crank that weezy wee. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. The first thing I wanna know is where them hoes at? Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. I’m the best rapper alive. ************* DID...
Improv Ramblings: Power sentence starters
ryanxilliams: chrisreblogs: “I want…” “I feel…” “You seem…” “You only say that because…”* *credit to Beth Appel via the team Shane for this one. (please add more) This reminds me of my 5th grade self-esteem teacher Mrs. Beckwith’s mantra “I feel _______ when you _______. I want you to _______ .” I’ve been repeating that to myself before shows recently.
I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my...– Harlan Pepper, Best in Show (via comedynerdsunited)
theidiotking: Nickstarter This is a sketch that I wrote with my friend, the multi talented Elisha Yaffe, for Yahoo’s Sketchy series. It pokes a little fun at Kickstarter projects, but mostly at sloppy lazy jerks in general. Starring Elisha Yaffe. Written by Elisha Yaffe/Dave Horwitz. Ft Sally Brooks, Mary Holland and Dave Horwitz. Directed/edited by Jefferson Dutton
Rejected Titles for John Mayer’s “Your Body is a...
In which I demonstrate my keen eye for topical humor. Yep, I’ve really got my finger on the pulse of pop culture… Rejected Titles for John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland” Your Body is… A Fairground of Forbidden Pleasures A Secret Zoo of Sensual Delights An Unchaste Public Library, Dappled in Dew and Sunlight A Steamy, Enchanted Hedge Maze A Formerly Enchanted Hedge Maze,...
Rejected Song of Ice + Fire Recipes
Some recipes cut from the final version of A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook Dragon-Roasted Southron Princeling in Apricot-Honey Glaze Late-Night Warg Buffalo Wings Flayed-n-Boiled Iron Island Lobster in Shellfish Broth Lady Lysa’s Crème Freche Topped with Moon Door Citrus Parfait in a Graham Cracker Terrine Fire Pepper-Rubbed Impsteak with Fingerling...
I read with continuous partial attention and I don’t care that I am frequently...– Stop Lying About What You Do | booktwo.org (via idfdz)
Time moves in one direction, memory in another. We are that strange species that...– William Gibson, Distrust That Particular Flavor [source] (via naranzarian)